Sunday, September 3, 2017

Things you should never ask a pharmacist.





Had an...erm...awkward conversation recently. I asked a pharmacist if he had any pea based powder. He said, "Pardon?" 

This didn't surprise me, as I often have to repeat myself. I'm prone to mumbling. I get told off a lot for doing this. 

I said it again, hoping my attempt to speak properly would be well received. It wasn't. He replied, "I'm not quite sure what you mean..." 

I noticed the strange intonations in his voice, but still didn't click straight away, because I was actually in quite a bit of pain at the time, and trying not to wince. 

Then I got it. Oh dear. He thought I meant, "P." In case you are from another country, where I live, "P" is the common name for meth. Or crystal meth. Or Ice. Or methamphetamine. That drug they manufacture on Breaking Bad.




Hardly surprising then that asking a pharmacist for some "P" based powder was likely to raise a few eyebrows... 

Once I realised my mistake, I explained that I meant p-e-a, as in the legume, those dear little nutritious green parcels that the princess couldn't sleep on. 

Actually, I didn't mention the fairy tale reference, I was way too mortified to think of anything humorous to say at the time. Especially since it's my local pharmacy and I go there a lot. 

Not everyone can embarrass themselves as easily, and as frequently, as I do. It's a special skill. Lucky me.

Of course, "p" is also for perfection, and what better way to illustrate that than with a picky of a phantastically photogenic phasmid;


Tuesday, May 16, 2017

Swimming With Spiders

I'm wondering if swimming with spiders will be the next big thing. Surely swimming with dolphins must be getting a bit old by now?



I have seen spiders on the surface of a pond before, but it was news to me that there are actually water spiders who dive into the water to hunt fish and frogs. Good grief. 

I'm not sure I want to picture them doing this, but I have already. Apparently, some water spiders come in giant size, as big as a person's head. Yikes.

I do like spiders. If you've been to this blog before, you will probably already know that. I've even posted some homemade spider movies on my youtube channel. 

I'm still not sure I would want to go swimming with them though. And not just because I can't swim. Not well, anyway. 

I'm wondering if the spider at the top of this post decided he wanted to go for a swim in my laundry tub. 

I assumed not, which is why I endeavoured to rescue him. He endeavoured to resist my rescue attempts, which significantly hindered progress. 

His raised his front legs, not in an, "Oh I so need a hug! Why, thank you, big friendly giant for offering to pick me up," but more in a, "Come any closer and you die," kind of way. It's all about body language, isn't it. And knowing how to read it. 

He did quite a good scary spider impression, which persuaded me to proceed with caution. 

His attack modes operandi was an understandable reaction, of course, given my size, and his vulnerability. I'm pleased to announce that I won the battle. 

A bite-free bug relocation operation was successfully implemented. Isn't he handsome! I believe he is a Tunnelweb Spider, and possibly a female one;

http://collections.tepapa.govt.nz/Topic/9426

There has been an interesting assortment of critters requiring rescuing from my laundry tub lately. I'm not sure what the tub attraction is, but you will be relieved to know that I check it regularly so no bug has to perish when they can't get out again.

One day I found this adorable baby weta in there;




Then recently, this praying mantis;




And here's another photo from a different angle because I couldn't decide which one to upload, so I decided not to decide and just post both;




I know this post rescue photo is a bit blurry, but I like the way the praying mantis is staring at me, and this is my blog, so if you object to blurry photos, I suggest you look away now;




I found a large furry spider in there recently too, but there was no time to do a photo shoot. Another difficult customer, that one. Sheesh.

Some spiders I can happily pick up with my hands. This one was just not that kind of spider. Like the other eight-legged beastie up above. Grumpy.

I wouldn't dare pluck this furry creature out of the laundry tub either;




He's a bit moody at times too, and likes to make his own decisions about where he wants to be. I'm pretty sure he didn't need my assistance, anyway. Unless he actually wanted to take a bath...